By being put on the list of pollutants recognized by the EPA as dangerous, CO2 will now be sharing a space on a list of infamy with chlorine, methanol, and asbestos. Let me repeat that.
The stuff that is released from YOUR LUNGS in the process of respiration (read: life) has now been classified to be as dangerous as asbestos!!
And you're going to hear, "Well, they're not going to regulate on an individual level. This is about Big Auto or Big (fill in the blank)." Here's the thing about that. Regulation by the EPA kicks in when pollutant emissions reach "10 tons per year or more of any hazardous air pollutant or 25 tons per year or more of any combination of hazardous air pollutants". I found here that the human race, simply through breathing, emits 200,000,000 times the standard that the EPA sets for the danger level.
But the EPA can't stop with simple auto emissions and the combustible engine. A pollutant is a pollutant. If it's jeopardizing my life or my children's life, I don't want it anywhere around me! When Big Tobacco jeopardized our lives, we sued them. When Big Oil jeopardizes our life with oil spills and the like, we take them to court, we make them pay for their tresspasses against our lives. To that end, I propose we begin formulating a class action suit against Big People! Every time someone takes a breath, they are now officially threatening the rest of us. This must stop!! The whole human race can join in. Trial lawyers will make a mint!
... if you have joined a health club, you are purposefully raising your output of CO2... you're sued.
... if you take the kids to the park, you are encouraging their CO2 output... you're sued.
... like having sex?, (if you're doing it right)... you're sued!
... watched a scary movie lately?, breathing a little hard when the heroine is in the dark scary house?...SUED!!!
... cutting your lawn with a push mower...SUED!!
... had an exciting thought?... SUED!!
... are you a politician about to make a speech?.... not so fast buddy....SUED!!
... skydiving...SUED!!
... rock concerts... SUED!!!
... birthday parties... SUED!!!
... pregnant...oh ho!... DOUBLE SUED!!!
And the list goes on and on. Anything that you engage in that gets your heart rate up, that increases your respiration is now officially a hostile act against life itself. You are a bad person.
You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
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